super exciting! on the verge of a decision!

super exciting! on the verge of a decision!

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super exciting! on the verge of a decision!
Hello to everyone! Iím a newcomer. Please, let me join. Iím pleased to be among you. I noticed there are different people on this forum. I see those who are experienced and successful. As well I see young and novice like me. Itíll be interesting to get your advice. Doubtlessly, you have much to say. I was hesitating to post my story. beg your pardon in advance. It could be a bit longer than I expected. There are so many different forums. Lots of them have their strict rules. I wanted to tell my things there where I would be understandable. I badly receive criticism. Iím not here for it. In my opinion people mustnít say rough things to each other. Only constructive and positive dialogues can make proper climate. Itís the way of understanding. Itís a direct path to acceptance. Iím 29 years old. Honestly, I wanted to become mother since I was at secondary school. Donít know how but itís my passion. Iíve been playing dolls till I met my husband. Perhaps Iím even not joking. Heís seemly older than me. Almost 10 years itís the only distance between us. Weíre very friendly people. We really understand, love, and get along always. We werenít dating for too long. He made proposal to me. I said yes. His next proposal was letís have a baby or two. I agreed. Seemed my life was getting happier more and more. He has got a big business in the field of computer technology. We have got enough money to maintain my treatment. Thatís awful absolutely. Like million couples we started trying to conceive. After year and half we decided that something went wrong. We didnít ever use protection. But nothing worked. If we were completely healthy as we thought, itís would be a baby. we decided to take some medical examinations. I was the first who had been tested. Happily nothing was found! It wasnít good news for my husband. I was afraid he would have dropped into depression. He understood his sperm wasnít in order. Itís always a tragic hit for male personality. He was working hard. He had got a plan. Heís already done much for his childrenís good life. It was so frustrating and unsettling news. We ourselves created this news. In fact, we were upset before he found out the truth. He took his test. It was sperm count procedure. It shows he is healthy too. We got confused. What should we do? Should we try the same way further or what? We decided on IUI. We did it thrice. Each time was like one step to success. The same feeling, I got when we tried IVF. After our IUI nothing was going on. I felt like a plastic doll. Modern reproductive medicine canít always explain or find the causes of infertility. Patience go home without explanation. There are cases when the couple doesnít not detect obvious signs of infertility. The tests can be normal or close to the norm. Such patients are told that they have unexplained infertility. There are different tips. It is possible for them to continue trying to conceive independently. But the years go by. Time is streaming so fast! Another option is to find clinic and specialist. To be true such answers are confirmation of current medicine inability. They canít just give you remedy or instruction how to solve your problem. So, we began form a very bottom. All three IUIs were failed. My first IVF, my second IVF, my third oneÖ I failed them all. Them all and plus following two cycles. I just couldnít get pregnant. Youíre waiting hanging on the phone. The nurse calls you to say you are losers. Unfortunately, you got nothing once again. I hate those calls. They brought only negative. ďIím so sorry. Unfortunately, not this timeÖ you must keep onĒ . We are just sitting and crying both. We decided that the fifth attempt would be the final. We donít want to dissolve ourselves in this mess. The fifth was failed. The same order and picture. Itís our bad tradition. We took a small pause. We had to get some rest. Hah! That was funny. The rest was associated with traveling. Our destination was Norway. Our old friends live there. They have got a house by the lake. Itís fantastic place. We wanted to have fun in order to forget everything. We were sitting at the table. Having dinner. We were speaking and joking a lot. They actually didnít know about our hard trying. Mellissa interrupted everyone. She decided to announce something important and special. She said she was pregnant with twins. Two small sweet pieces were inside her while she was toasting. It was certainly unbelievable. All that clot of disappointment reached me suddenly. It captured my body and mind. I began crying loud. Perhaps I was crying three days out. It was a total failure. I really envied. That was awful form me. But we comprehended we would be trying. We couldnít give up. It was 2 months ago. Since then we didnít spend a day without thinking of our future baby. we collected bunch of resumes and portfolios of different clinics. We already contacted several of them. Itís not actually kind of progress to be proud of. However, I feel weíre approaching the day of X. Our relatives extremely support us. They highly promote our advancement. Whatís news on your journey? 1 elementa
6/15/2018
Hi, howís it going? I found strength to finish your post. It was really big. Iíd love to respond to you the same way. Want you to read the same long answer. But I donít know. Seems I lack words now. As for your surrogacy, donít be afraid. Youíll not be the firs who. Youíll bot be the last who does it. Iím in program already. Last four months were pleasant and successful. We had got a large progress. Our surrogate overcame the first trimester. It was a real reason for celebrating. Unfortunately, then everything started going wrong. No, no, there wasnít anything bad with our babies. Our surrogate feels fine. My husband began heavily drinking. It was the last thing Iíve expected from him. Such awful events! I canít stand it any longer. Your story was really touching. I imagine how it could be in Norway. The wave of disappointment has swallowed you at once. I turned red. It wasnít a shame. I felt that sort of disappointment. I guess you shouldnít feel bad. You shouldnít envy. Let them have their own happiness. Youíll definitely reach yours. Just donít stop it. You made such a decision. It was already a big step forward. Our stories are completely different. I never had support. My decisions were taken in hidden corner. I couldnít reveal my plans. I donít know maybe people surrounding me are different. Maybe I am always in weird environment. Itís my fault but I canít identify it. Our mothers are hanging over us like a cloud. Iíd love to share it becauseÖ it presses me to the ground. The reason of my infertility was definite. Iím obviously the unluckiest person ever. I always had to compete and fight for invisible ideas. I was diagnosed with cancer. It took much time to recover. I underwent surgery. Suppose itís impossible to recover mentally after it. Something changed in me irreversibly. Something incorrigible! I understood Iíll never be like I used to be. The same as pregnancy the womb removal changes you cordially. I was broken from inside. Thatís my story in short. Iím happy Iím close to the feeling of joy. However, Iím too far from my goal because of circumstances. 2 Clarentz
6/18/2018
Oh, honey! Donít be so sad. I canít express I feel such a heavy burden on your back. It leads you down. You canít take a breath. I guess I feel much easier than you do despite Iím just a beginner. Iíd love to help but I canít. I just canít understand how to help. Whatís wrong with your man? Why does he do it? He perhaps doesnít understand his responsibility. A big happiness gonna reach your souls! He can merely miss it. Please, talk to him. Itís not good. I donít want to praise my one. But I canít avoid. My husband is more than I am able to describe. Heís the most significant gift I ever received from God. I know if I get it trouble heíll be the first whoíll save me. It gives me confidence. Such a strong type of confidence. It seems I may start any affairs and plan any business. Just because heís next to me. You should impact on your husband. Donít leave him alone. Or leave him if thereís no option to do. Iím really touched with your story. itís thrilling because I understand the pressure. It was like not mine but your story was nominal up above. Tell me more how you lived before that terrible event. Tell me how you started. That all means much for me. Feel free to ask me. Whatever you are interested in! Itís pleasure for me to talk with you. I believe you are a kind one. Itís just a black line. These things sometimes last for years. You should be sure there will be goodness. You will actually find a solution. I think youíll even forget everything bad. 3 elementa
6/18/2018
Of course Iíd love to be more understandable. I didnít mean to hide anything. Some things are just ineffable. You get surer we and our stories of life are different. We lived different lives. We make a huge effort to understand each other. Letís observe our men. I will do with help of your description. Iím not going to dive into depth just that on the surface. Your husband is 10 years older than you. You said it. It may explain his impeccability in your view. Perhaps he was already a serious man when met you. Mine was a dumbass. He always behaved like a fool. We were just like kids. Our conflicts and quarrels were replaced by other quarrels. It is like restless war all the time. I donít know what we tried to argue. You wrote you had been always supported. I said I had never been supported enough. His relatives, my relatives are the first reason of our quarrels. I donít want to lay the blame on other people. But my mother thinks my husband is a piece of . His mother sees me like a stupid . They know nothing about surrogacy. They are the children in adult skin by themselves. Iím sure his mommy asked him to forget me when I was in the hospital. Yes, she was right partly. Perhaps Iíd leave that girl who was living with another man during our relationship existed officially. Thatís weird situation. My mother always says to me to break up with him while heís drinking. On the one hand sheís clever enough. Itís reasonable to move on. However, itís not a salvation to leave everything when something goes wrong. I disrespect such steps. Probably your lovely husband is pretty a responsible person. Heís calmer than mine. My hubby wants to make noise wherever he is. But I see heís fading away. His sap is running out. Iím afraid to lose my husband. You canít say anything to him. Heís deaf absolutely. Itís like thereís a plan or schedule he always follows. Sure, I can be happy. our third part of journey was crossed. Iím looking forward to having my twins. The one important thing I canít take my babies without his contribution. Iím crying when I imagine my twins are at the orphanage. My beloved angels might be there because of our childish silliness. Iíll not forgive it. Iíll kill him, his mother, and myself. Thereíll be strength only for such a crime. Did I deserve it? I guess you I did. Did my future children deserve to have it? Exactly no, they are pure, sinless. 4 Clarentz
6/18/2018
My god! I couldnít know all these problems. Iím sure you are right. My husband was always prudent and judicious. He addressed all the problems before I noticed them. It doesnít matter!! You deserve to be happy anyway. Everybody deserves. I want to say there was such a long and terrible path behind. You must keep on honey. Please, push on your man! Compel him! Pray to him! Force him to quit it! Youíll have your children. Then heíll be free to have fun as heís used to. Donít even think about orphanage. Nobody will be at loss. Actually Iím not a professional adviser but do as I said. Focus on your future joy. Fancy how you are caring and loving them. Let everything pass behind. Itís your main purpose. If your relatives are that stupid let them live alone. Let them comprehend it thoroughly until your sweethearts are born. Itíll be perfect I believe so. Show your husband that you love him. Show him heís needed now. It might be a serious problem. Itís like a disease, itís addiction! He is addicted to alcohol. Additionally, he undergoes a big stress. He urgently needs to be saved. It makes sense. He just may die one day. Try to be extra sensible during this time. I guess the women are able to switch such functions. You also can Iím sure. How could you find clinic in such a complicated mess? I canít imagine it. Itís rather hard to decide on clinic. Thereís too huge field to opt for. You said there was something bad before that horrible surgery. Am I right? Something that has been done by you. Why you canít have your babies without your husband there with you? Twins are actually a miracle! Maybe itís not pertinently now but accept my congrats! 5 elementa
6/18/2018
Yes, I was also amazed with news. I looked at my phone. I saw notificationÖ I could trust my eyes. Then I checked my email. Yeah! We had ultrasound results. There were two peas in there. I was about to jump. Thatís really awesome to receive such news. Hope youíll know it soon. I donít even have doubt on it. Actually, what was extraordinary? Itís surrogacy you know. The process of fertilization and implantation are the regular parts of IVF. Itís normal when a woman has twins after fertilization. Itís so easy on the instruction. Itís beyond the reality when you get such news on your own. That was really fascinating! Okay, I have a very weak memory. I need you list. You asked: Why you canít have your babies without your husband there with you? Was there anything before surgery in our relationship that could be called as terrible? How could you find clinic in such a complicated mess? Okay, itís not easy. In Ukraine you canít apply for surrogacy without marriage certificate. You have to be officially married. As well you and your husband have to represent a traditional heterosexual relationship. My womb and my ovaries were removed from my body. I lost a natural ability to get pregnant and carry a baby. Also I canít donate my egg. 6 Clarentz
6/18/2018
This way I had to use service called egg donation. There is a donor base in Ukraine. They have got ladies who are ready to give their eggs to infertile couples in case like mine. My husband is only one parent who gave his biological material. Our babies are genetically related to him. His sperm took part in fertilization. None of my cells didnít. thatísí why his presence is utterly necessary. The DNA test will be relating directly to him. Weíll never get our documents after our babiesí birth. Weíll not be able to turn back home without him. I guess itís pretty understandable. Yes, before my problem we began living separately. My husband was always drunk. I didnít know what exactly was in his head. Perhaps he was sure Iíd never leave him. Perhaps he didnít think about it. I left him after all. I was dating with another man. We lived together for a couple of months. Then I got into hospital. Suppose that deed, that act of mine was awful. It can be considered as treason. He never reminded me about it. I never forgot it when heís beside me. Isnít it a treason when your man is always drunk? These are relatively similar things. Weíve overcome that together. It was a light spot in our biographies. I was terrible ill. I felt like I was dying. I didnít call him. He came by himself. It was his mercy. I saw he was sober. Seemed he didnít drink for a few weeks. I think heís not an alcoholic. he could live without drinking for months. Sometimes he can have a little fun during two or three days. Thatís not a problem. Iím nervous actually and yelling on him. But I know heíll be all right in several days. How was it possible to maintain such a positive climate for dealing with clinic? As I said we found compromise. We tried to forget everything in love. It was really a productive period. We contacted the clinic. They answered us and said the date of appointment. Thatís all I think. We had that good time until he began hanging out. I donít want blaming him. Maybe you are close to truth. He needs help. It might be more serious than I expect. I donít know how to do it while our program is in the process. Itíll be unbelievably difficult. He wonít listen to anyone. How about your case? I canít understand it fullyÖ didnít the treatment cause pregnancy orÖ wasnít it at least useful? 7 Clarentz
6/18/2018
Yup, now itís much clearer for me. Itís an incredible story. we all do something bad sometimes. I donít mean to say you are a bad person. You did it because you had got reason to do it. Thatís your life you manage. No one knows how I would behave in such circumstances. In my turn I hate drunk people. Itíd better for me to live alone than see how my man spoils our life. Your good period really inspires. Thatís an example to follow. Remember it and try being like then. I guess everything is going to be all right. Nobody knows your husband better than you do. Youíll surely find a way out. You call him dumb. Hope heís a bit cleverer then it is. Hold on dear and donít be upset beforehand. My problem was severe. I myself donít know what it is. Even doctors didnít find the reason. Itís a double disappointment to not know why! I was frustrated. I easily get upset. Donít be like me. We tried hard to conceive. We practiced lots of options. We donít have any bad habits. We did sports. Jogging, swimming, gymnastics, thatís all about out lifestyle. Nothing works at all. You understand you do something wrong. But whatís wrong? Everybody just keeps silent. Itís killing me. We were tired of finding the answer. That was enough for me at all. After natural way we tried IUI and clomid. Three cycles were sadly failed. Then we tried to do it with help of IVF. You know, I was hopeful about it. 5 long rounds brought us nothing. We decided to stop. now weíre focusing to finding the real way. I donít expect the innovations from science in the nearest future. 8 elementa
6/18/2018

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super exciting! on the verge of a decision!