the question of surrogacy

the question of surrogacy

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the question of surrogacy
Hi, I would like to ask for your advice. I'm 38 years old, and my husband is 33 years old. A very difficult situation has developed in our family. My husband is younger than me for 5 years. And we do not have children, my husband really wants children. And I'm afraid that if we do not have children, then my husband will leave me. We know that our only options are surrogacy or adoption. But my husband does not want to hear anything about adoption, he wants his children. And I can not contradict him. He wants to use a surrogate. But I do not know how I feel about this. In addition, the costs are so high that we do not know if it can be done. I find that I'm crying, a few nights. I do not know what to do in this situation. In addition, I constantly complex because of my age. I want to be a young mother, but I am already 38 years old and I do not know when we will have children. 1 lilis
1/31/2018
Hi, I understand your situation. I think you should not get so upset. Yes, sometimes women are complex because of age, if the husband is younger. But he chose you, he is with you, so he wants it. If he did not like you, if he did not love you, he would have left you long ago. Therefore, you should not worry about this. But I want to say that you have a wrong attitude to surrogacy. You have a chance to have your child biologically, and he will look, for example, like your husband. It will be your child, in the future you will forget about the surrogacy, and enjoy the happiness of motherhood. And why did you decide that surrogacy is not affordable? Where do you want to have the program? Did you count the country and the clinic? If you are talking about the US, I completely agree with you, it is very expensive. It is about 90 k per attempt. And very often one attempt is not enough. But you can look for clinics in other countries. Because now it is not so difficult to do. 2 silvi
1/31/2018
Thanks for your reply. Tell me, please, do you have any experience of surrogacy? You must understand the reasons for my despair, because I am already 38 years old, and my husband is younger than me !!!!! I understand why he wants to have his children. And it would be wrong to condemn him for it.But for me, surrogacy is a very responsible step. I do not know if we can do it. Do we get it right the first time? I am very worried about this, so I cry more often at night and feel defenseless. Because I can not share this problem with anyone. I do not want our friends and relatives to know about this. I do not want to be discussed. Therefore, I decided that our problem should be kept secret. But I feel lonely. We love each other, but I think that we just need to have a child to make our family stronger. Yes, I agree with you, in America the price is very high. We do not have such a large sum of money. And which countries can you recommend to me? 3 lilis
1/31/2018
It seems to me that you need to entrust the decision of this issue to your husband. He is a man, he must solve all difficult questions. And what can I say about your words about loneliness? It seems to me that you are not alone, you have a husband, you have friends. You do not need to tell your friends about this problem. But you can go with your friends to a cafe or restaurant? It seems to me that this will distract you from your thoughts. And besides, loneliness is not as bad as you think. It will pass, it seems to me that you need to overcome your depression, otherwise it will have a bad effect on your relationship with your husband. As for the clinic, I can advise you to pay attention to Ukraine. It is a beautiful country with its pluses and minuses. But I want to say that their approaches in reproductive medicine are amazing. We took a package of surrogacy in biotexcom. And they offer many advantages in their packages. And, for example, they have an all-inclusive package for a single price without any hidden fees. And we paid nothing for an apartment, food or transportation. Everything was included in the package price. Their taxi met us at the airport. The clinic also provided us with an interpreter, medicines, treatment and advice. 4 silvi
1/31/2018
Thanks for the recommendation and for your reply. I agree with you that I need to overcome my depression !!! In addition to the cost of the program, we have one more reason for concern. Namely the question of interaction with a lawyer. Will we help to draw up the documents correctly? You must understand me that we want everything to be legal. It is very important for us to solve this problem. Does the clinic help in resolving this issue? 5 lilis
1/31/2018
It seems to me that you greatly exaggerate the complexity of solving this issue. In our case, the clinic was responsible for all the documents. We did not worry about the legal part of the matter. Because in some cases it is quite difficult and can be even a problem if you do it all yourself. Just do not be afraid of surrogacy. This is something that can make you happy. Initially, we also had many doubts. We were in many clinics. We consulted with many doctors. In fact, we also did not immediately decide on this. But all the same, we realized that time is running fast and it's a surrogacy - it's our chance. During our visits to the clinic, I saw several couples with children. They were so good, and their parents looked very excited. Perhaps it was one of the facts that made me sign the contract. When you see the result, a positive result, even if it is not yours, it makes you more determined, bold. I strongly recommend that you go to this clinic and see what you are paying for. Then you will understand that it's worth it! I hope you will make a decision that will be right for you. Do not be afraid. 6 silvi
1/31/2018
My husband believes that it is necessary to visit several clinics and possibly several countries. But, of course, here again the problem of money is growing. After all, flights and accommodation also require monetary investments. I mean the aspects of choosing a clinic. What is the best way to proceed? My husband thinks that we can keep within the amount that we have. But somehow I doubt it. 7 lilis
1/31/2018
We were in many clinics. We were even in many countries. It was a very grueling period. And of course we spent a lot of money in vain. I can say that you'd better decide on the country right away. Maybe with the help of feedback, or information on the Internet about clinics or doctors. It is necessary to get acquainted with the legislation, prices in different countries. But since our attempt was successful in Ukraine, I will tell you about this period of our life. We visited several clinics in Kiev. It must be admitted that they are completely different. I did not find anything similar between them. In one of the clinics, we were very much urged to sign a contract. This embarrassed us and we refused. In the other clinic there were no patients at all, it was empty. In addition, we received vague answers to our questions. In the clinic with which we signed the contract, there were many patients, we even had to spend a little time waiting. 8 silvi
1/31/2018
Thank you for your answers, but I would like to ask you one more question. Please tell me which other countries you considered to be a possible option. After all, I know that surrogacy is developed in India and America. I would be interested to know about the prices in these countries. But, of course, I understand that America is not for us. But it's interesting to know your opinion on this matter. Thank you for your attention, I hope for your reply. 9 lilis
1/31/2018
Before going to this clinic I had negative experience. It isnít a secret, of course; first we decided to go to india. We were promised a lot. And we believed it. The clinic seemed to be ok. It has a good exterior look. The doctors were nice and attentive. But it was our mistake to judge by externals. As a result we had three attempts. All of them failed. We didnít get any explanation. Frankly speaking, when we are digging deeper and deeper we understood there were not so many options. And of course, we spent a lot of money. We had to pay for each attempt and for accommodation. Once I saw advertising of biotexcom on the internet. I tried to inquire some info about this clinic. There was not so much information. I looked at the site. And I was surprised with the price. So we decided to visited them. 10 silvi
1/31/2018
Did the first difficulties frighten you? How do you cope with depression after the first failures? And how you were met in Kiev? You know I'm very interested in communicating with you. And I hope for your answers. I hope that you can help me with advice or moral support. It's so necessary. 11 lilis
1/31/2018
No, of course, the setbacks frightened us very much, it was simply shocked. We have long tried to restore our peace of mind. At first we began to doubt whether it was worth trying our actions. But still my husband calmed down and supported me. Without him, I would not do anything. Before the trip to Ukraine, I contacted the manager. She gave me all the necessary information, and we agreed on the date of our arrival. When we arrived in Ukraine, we were met by a driver who worked in this clinic. Then we went to the clinic. We had a consultation with a doctor. Later we took all the tests. Only after that we made a contract. In general, everything was fine. In short, I must say that for me the most significant advantage of this clinic was a successful result. Medical personal work was also satisfactory. You should understand that the most important reasons are a positive result and an affordable price. 12 silvi
1/31/2018
Ohhsh!om god, itís so frequently happening to us women. Please, first of all threw such thoughts away. I donít have to do anything just because of fear of being abandoned. You are a person in the world of freedom. Do you get what I mean? Before everything you have to have an amazing plan and a huge desire to go through that all. you must be esteemed by your husband. surrogacy is full of trials. Itís exhausting and sometimes making you think itís not worth efforts. Maybe youíve already mentioned it but I want to ask which destination you chose for this? 13 toytoo
2/1/2018
So sorry to hear that you cannot get pregnant this surely must be devastating but your husband is a wise man with a good positive thinking.Life may show you blocked ends but you must think through them and for your blockade surrogacy is the answer.There is no issue in being done so as long as it is being done by the experienced clinics.There are options for you to choose the donor there and much more in your way look for them more thoroughly check out the sites etc.Best of luck. 14 jenni
2/2/2018
So, why donít you want to use the surrogacy? I donít get it. It can give you a chance to become parents. The baby will be genetically related to your husband and you. I think this is the best option for you, guys. Donít waste your time and start the surrogacy program. It takes 9-12 months to get a baby. Iím in the same boat with you, by the way. Our surrogate is 3 months pregnant at the moment. We are about to become parents in 6 months. After 10 years of useless ttc surrogacy was our only chance to get a kid. Thatís why we agreed to try it out. I believe that everything will be fine. Our doctor is doing everything possible to help us. The price is pretty high. But, as for me, it is worth paying. 15 Jake
2/5/2018
Hello everybody! Thank you for having responded to me and shared your opinions. But my husband and I decided that we need to try a surrogate. My husband convinced me to do it. Soon we want to contact the clinic that Sylvi recommended me. I hope everything will turn out well for us. My husband told me that I suffer in vain. He said that if we do not try to do it now, then we will be very sorry. So ....) 16 lilis
2/6/2018
Why do you think that adoption is less exhausting process? As far I know (it needs considering specific countries differences in legislation as well) adoption requires a lot of participation and meetings with social police and a real bunch of docs also youíll foster, bring up a baby that was apparently born by bad people or those who lost control over their lives. I could actually seem rude telling this, I'm sorry but that's because this theme is so fragile and touches everyone who cares. I guess the adoption is the way for those who decided pass through such way and youíre not obliged to puzzle over 17 Gallas
3/27/2018
My simple advice will be in following, you have to decide and strictly follow your decision. People will really try to mix up your plans. Youíre completely right, surrogacy is complex but what is easy in this life darling? And one more thing, who told you that 40 years mean being old in any of meanings? Youíll be the perfect mother just because you deserve it and you want it as no one does. I hope you got some of inspiration and your next post will be about particular facility you land by 18 toytoo
3/27/2018
Hello, dear. Iím very glad that you decided to choose the surrogacy. Itís a great idea. A lot of infertile couples enter surrogacy programs nowadays. Iím very glad that medicine is developing so fast. Every woman is worth of having kids. Thatís why I completely support you. You are a very brave woman. And Iím very glad that your husband is supporting you. My second kid was also born by the surrogate. I was very scared, you know. But now I know that it was our best decision. It was our only chance to have more kids. We have chosen a very good clinic. Our doctor helped us a lot. He has found a great surrogate for us. She was taking a good care of our baby. We visited her a couple of times. So, I was sure that our baby was fine. We were allowed to contact our doctor whenever we wanted. We had nothing to worry about. We brought our baby home in 3 days after the delivery. We already have one baby, so we knew how to deal with the newborn. I enjoy spending time with my kids. They are so funny. I have almost forgotten that I didnít give birth for the second time. Our baby looks like my husband. It makes me even happier. So, donít be afraid, dear. Everything will be fine. Just choose a good clinic and they will take care of you and your baby. I think you will be a great mother. 19 amazingbear
4/25/2018

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the question of surrogacy